Bridal Showers
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Wedding: |
The tradition of today's Bridal Shower began many years ago in Holland. A young Dutch girl fell in love with a poor miller. The miller was a very generous soul and had given away everything he owned over the years to those less fortunate them himself. The young Dutch girl was the daughter of a wealthy man, who forbade his daughter to marry the miller and refused them the dowry they would need to establish their household. Their village came to their rescue, and their friends gathered together and "showered" the couple with all the items necessary to set up their household. It was the beginning of a long marriage and a cherished tradition which has lived on through today. Who Hosts a Shower Traditionally, the Bridal Shower party was given by the bride's maid or matron of honor and or her brides maids. Relatives, friends, and even co-workers of the bride-to-be or her mother often throw a bridal shower for the bride. In the past, etiquette precluded the brides mother or sisters from hosting the shower since gifts are expected. Although, more recently, this rule of etiquette has become a bit more relaxed and it has become acceptable for immediate family members to host a bridal shower for the bride. Even if the immediate family is not hosting a shower, they may wish to contribute in some fashion to help share some of the costs and responsibilities. If you have several hostesses, be sure to elect one hostess to act as the main coordinator to help keep the shower planning progressing and split up the responsibilities. The Encore Bride The tradition of the Bridal Shower was started in the spirit of "showering" the bride-to-be with gifts to help her set up her first household. In holding with the original purpose, bridal showers were generally not held for the bride who was getting remarried. With today's modern times, many couples are getting married later in life and already having an established household in place, living together or remarrying and combining households, the modern bridal shower has become more of a prenuptial party with shower themes becoming more popular. In keeping with the tone of a second wedding, the bridal shower for an encore bride is generally a simpler, smaller more intimate affair. Gifts tend to be more personal rather than household items. And gift registries become even more important to help give your guests some guidance in selecting appropriate gifts that you will enjoy and need. The Guest List Traditionally, the guest list for the bridal shower included only the brides closest friends and family, for an intimate women-only party. Changing times have seen men participating in more of the wedding planning and even the bridal shower, as couples showers, which honor both the bride and the groom, are becoming vastly popular. With many women waiting until they complete college and have their careers under way, you are seeing more bridal showers thrown or including office acquaintances, sororities or other clubs. Usually most of your guests for a shower will be invited to the wedding, although it is not a set rule. For example, you are having a very small, family only ceremony and reception and your office throws you a bridal shower. Or you are planning a destination wedding on an island somewhere and only your immediate family will be attending the wedding ceremony. The brides friends and family may still want to throw a bridal shower to celebrate her upcoming wedding even knowing they are not invited to the wedding or reception. Often times your bride will find that there is more than one shower planned for her. If there is more than one shower planned, try to coordinate your guest lists so there is not too many doubles or triples. With the exception of the immediate family, each guest should only be invited to one or at most two showers as etiquette dictates that a gift should be purchased for each shower. If your guests are invited to more than one shower, you may want to emphasize that their presence is enough of a gift and they would not be expected to bring an additional gift. If your guest would feel funny showing up "empty- handed", hint that you would love a bouquet of flowers from their flower garden or a loaf of their prize winning banana bread. Consult with your bride, or for a surprise shower, her mother or fiancé for names and addresses of those they would like to have invited. An average bridal shower will include any where from 10 to 25 people, with a couples shower inviting about 40 or so. |
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